


Two Can Keep a Secret

by irishlullaby13



Category: Sleepy Hollow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Porn With Plot, Secret Relationship, trope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 20:31:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4801280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishlullaby13/pseuds/irishlullaby13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the old saying goes, two can keep a secret... but only if the other one is dead.  Jenny makes it her mission to find out who from the FBI Abbie is dating and who the mysterious globetrotter Ichabod has started dating are.  What lengths will the pair go to to keep their relationships secret?  And can Jenny get one of them to crack?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Can Keep a Secret

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the ones who are fans of drunken hook-ups

Frank rolled his eyes at the giggling pair in the back seat of his car. "Are they like this every time they drink too much?" Cynthia asked, casting him a hesitant glance.

"I wish I could say no," he replied. 

When he checked the rear view mirror, Abbie was poking Ichabod in the stomach and Ichabod was trying to catch her hands to make her stop. Frank rolled his eyes again and put his attention back on the road. 

"Lieutenant," Ichabod said just a little too loudly, finally capturing her hands. 

Abbie leaned against his shoulder and looked up at him as he entwined his fingers with hers. "What?"

"It just occurred to me... technically, once you start your training at Quantico, you shall no longer be a lieutenant," he said. "Which means I will be unable to-- ooph!" Abbie elbowed him in the stomach.

"If you even think about not calling me _Lef_ -tenant any more, I will kick your ass," she teased.

"Noted," Ichabod replied. "But tell me, lieutenant..."

"What you want, what you really, really want," Abbie sang happily. They burst into a fresh round of giggles and playfully swatting at each other. Frank and Cynthia groaned and shook their heads as the pair continued on with the song as loudly as possible.

"Are we almost to Abbie's place?" Cynthia asked, rubbing her temples.

"Soon," Frank sighed. "Not nearly fast enough."

They had thrown Abbie a going away party since she would be reporting to FBI training Monday morning. It had, of course, entailed plenty of alcohol and karaoke. Things had been going rather smoothly until Jenny had insisted on playing something called 'kamikazi karaoke' which entailed her picking random songs for everyone to perform. And they wouldn't know what song it was until they were called up.

It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't all agreed they were too sober for it. Unfortunately, since Frank and Cynthia were Abbie's--an by association, Ichabod's--designated drivers, they were subjected to the game without the aid of alcohol. But they were certainly going to be nipping into some brandy when they got home as a reward for putting up with the two drunk people in the back seat.

"I cannot recall what I was going to say prior to your interruption, Lieutenant," Ichabod commented.

"Is Ichabod going to the cabin or staying at your place, Abbie?" Cynthia asked.

"My place," Abbie said, digging in Ichabod's coat pocket. She grinned brightly and took her hand out of his pocket and shoved whatever she had retrieved into her jeans pocket. "Last time Frank dropped Ichabod off at the cabin, he ended up sleeping on the porch because Frank didn't make sure he was inside before driving off!"

"I have told you, I slept on the porch because I wanted to," Ichabod insisted.

"It was thirty degrees outside!" Abbie scoffed and gave him a small shove.

"Frank," Cynthia gawked. "Really? You left him outside in the cold?"

Frank rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It wasn't thirty degrees, she's being dramatic."

Abbie got on her knees in the seat, leaned forward, peering over the console between Frank and Cynthia. "I am not being dramatic," she whispered. "He nearly had hyper... hypo..." She looked over her shoulder sharply. "'ey! Hands off the ass."

"My apologies, Lieutenant," Ichabod drawled. "You are well aware that I am overly fond of a beautifully robust posterior and denying such would be a grievous falsity."

Abbie let out a high pitched sound Frank was sure was meant to be a laugh as she flopped back in the seat and fell over into Ichabod's lap. "Did... Did you just grandiloquentalize 'I like big butts and I cannot lie'?" The two started laughing again.

Cynthia and Frank shared a glance. Cynthia shook her head. "Next time we take Jenny home." 

The two in the back became quiet and she looked back in time to see Ichabod murmuring in Abbie's ear, just seconds before they became engaged in a liplock and Abbie crawling onto Ichabod's lap. "Um.. Frank..."

Frank glanced in the rear view mirror, sighed heavily. He reached over to the glove compartment and removed a small spray bottle and aimed the nozzle in their direction. Abbie shrieked and leapt to the other side of the back seat when Frank started spraying them with water.

"Fraaank... that was rude," Abbie whined.

"Both of you stay on your side of the back seat," Frank barked.

"But Ichabod is sitting on my side," Abbie pouted. "Does that mean I can sit in his lap?"

"No you can't," Frank groused and handed the bottle to Cynthia. "If either one of them moves from their side of the seat, you know what to do."

Ichabod started to lightly hum a tune. Frank hit the gas and tried to get to make it to Abbie's place before it was too late. Fortunately, he made it and instead of having a rousing chorus of "Five Hundred Miles" taking place in his car, the two drunk people were singing it as they leaned against each other and made their way to Abbie's door.

"That was terrible," Cynthia commented, as she and Frank followed behind the drunken pair. "Are they like this every time they go out for karaoke?" Her husband cast her a weary glance that let her know that, yes, it was like this every time. "So now what?"

"He goes on the couch, Abbie goes to her bedroom," Frank said. "We don't leave until they accept their locations. Usually all you have to do is throw a blanket over Ichabod and he falls asleep. Abbie will probably try to convince you that she needs to check on Ichabod before she goes to bed, just let her know I'm making sure he's comfortable."

Abbie fumbled with her house key and finally managed to get it into the lock and a few second later the door opened. She threw her arms up in victory. "Yes! Sexy time!"

"Nope, nope," Frank said, redirecting Abbie into her house before she could turn and capture Ichabod. He indicated for Cynthia to deal with Abbie while he dealt with Ichabod.

Cynthia guided Abbie to her bedroom. The younger woman pouted, "But I want to have sex with Ichabod..."

"Trust me, sweetheart, you'll be glad we stopped you once you're sober," Cynthia said, when Abbie trudged to her bed and fell into it face-first.

Abbie kicked off her shoes and crawled completely into her bed. "I should make sure he's nice and comfy... then fuck 'im."

"Frank's got it covered," Cynthia said. "You just get into bed and go to sleep."

Abbie gave her an odd look. "Frank's gonna fuck Ichabod?" she asked. "That's _my_ job."

It took ever ounce of Cynthia's willpower to not face palm. "No, sweetie, Frank's making sure he's settled in on the couch. In fact he's probably already asleep. So no hittin' that tonight."

Abbie groaned and rolled onto her side. "But... but I want to." Her expression turned impish. "I bet he's packin' some serious heat... I mean, he looks like a skinny little streak of bacon, but I've seen him with his shirt off." She made a pleased sound. "He is... sexy."

Cynthia put a blanket over Abbie. "I'm sure he is sweetie. Now go to sleep."

Abbie closed her eyes and gave a soft sigh. When Cynthia was sure Abbie would be staying put, she tiptoed out of the room and quietly closed the door. When she reached the living room, Frank was shaking his head at Ichabod who was face down on the sofa, sprawled out .

"Let's get out of here," Frank intoned. "I have had enough of drunk people tonight." 

Cynthia shook her head slowly. "We are definitely running Jenny home next time," she reiterated.

  
#  


Abbie's eyes popped open as soon as she heard her front door close. She scrambled out of the bed and tiptoed to the living room. She peered around the corner at Ichabod on the sofa. "Psst!" she hissed. "Ichabod... hey... Ichabod..."

He lifted his head and looked around at her. "Yes?" 

Abbie crooked her finger at him, grinning. "I need to show you something."

Ichabod shifted around until he was sitting up. "Is it an ancient artefact?" he asked.

"No," Abbie replied. She thought about it a moment. "Although, it is something that hasn't been seen or explored by man for some time, so maybe it could be."

Ichabod hoisted himself off the sofa. "Lead the way."

As soon as he reached her, Abbie grabbed the front of Ichabod's shirt and yanked him down for a kiss. He hummed in approval and eagerly returned it. She guided him down the hallway, taking great care to not break the kiss until her bedroom door was closed behind them. "Now, what was that you were saying in the car?" she asked, working his coat down his arms.

"That I would like to take you from behind so I could admire your glorious posterior whilst making you scream my name," Ichabod replied primly.

"Oh you are definitely be doing that," Abbie purred. She grinned up at him as she unfastened his trousers. "I am so... fucking horny right now..." After brushing her hand over the front of his trousers, she could tell he was too.

"I can certainly see to that issue."

Within a minute, Abbie was bent over her bed, her jeans around her knees and Ichabod was driving into her from behind. She gripped the bedsheets, groaning loudly as he filled her and hit deep inside. His fingers gripped her hips tightly as he set a hard, fast, and relentless pace.

"Shit... shit... fuck... oh fuck..." Abbie moaned. "Yes... fuck me... Fuck me hard Ichabod..."

Instead of obeying her command, he slowed his strokes and trailed his fingers over her backside before grabbing two handfuls of the flesh. "Lieutenant..." he murmured. "I fail to see that our current situation constitutes such vulgarity."

Abbie whimpered when he pulled almost completely out. She nearly sobbed when he pushed back inside of her painfully slow. "Ichabod," she groaned. "If the roles were reversed... you would know that... our situation... very much constitutes my vulgarity." She squeezed her walls around him, making him give a strangled sound. "Now... fuck me."

When he chuckled softly, then obliged her demands, Abbie was cuming hard within minutes. He followed soon after, yelling out her name. They slumped on the bed, panting heavily. Ichabod placed feather light kisses on her shoulder.

"We should do this again sometime very soon, Lieutenant," Ichabod commented. He kept his hips pressed firmly against her backside, keeping himself inside of her as he stroked the posterior he had nothing but compliments for.

Abbie sighed with contentment. Oh yes, they were definitely going to be doing this again. Something suddenly occurred to her which made her start giggling. "Never would have figured you for an ass man..."

"I would not object to the opportunity to discover if there are any other parts I enjoy just as much," Ichabod said close to her ear.

"You are definitely going to have that chance," Abbie replied. "In fact, as soon as you're able... I plan on getting these clothes off and giving you a good ride."

"I look forward to it."

  
#  


Abbie grumbled, rolled over, and pulled the blankets over her head when the sunlight filtered in through the blinds. She snuggled closer to the warmth stretched out in front her. A smile spread across her lips when she opened an eye to peek at her bed partner, which had apparently been watching her sleep.

"Good morning," she murmured.

Ichabod mirrored her grin, cupped her face, then pressed his lips to hers. "Good morning, indeed."

Abbie sighed heavily when he pulled back. "We'll never hear an end to it when everyone else finds out," she commented. 

At some point during the night, they had finally become sober enough to solidify that they were, in fact, starting an actual relationship. That had been celebrated with more sex, in which they both found out Ichabod rather liked Abbie being on top.

Ichabod smiled enigmatically. "And who is to say that they need to find out?" he asked.

"Are you suggesting we keep our relationship a secret, Mister Crane?" Abbie asked, mimicking a British accent.

"It would make things easier," he replied. "Your sister would not insist on prying into our private matters and making certain I am 'doing the relationship thing right'... even when I do not ask for her guidance."

Abbie wrinkled her nose. He had a point. She'd had to constantly get Jenny to tone it down when Katrina had been in the picture and Ichabod had been trying to repair their fragile relationship. She could only imagine what Jenny would be like if she didn't have her to tell her to back off. And Jenny wouldn't be hounding _her_ for starting a relationship with Ichabod right before she was shipping out of Sleepy Hollow for almost half a year.

They could try it.

And if things didn't work out, it would also help keep peace between her sister and Ichabod. Frank wasn't so much a concern because he was preparing to move back in with Cynthia and Macey. But things could get awkward with Jenny no matter what the outcome was.

"How shall we seal this accord?" Abbie asked primly.

"A kiss seems most appropriate," Ichabod replied, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

Abbie moistened her lips and pressed them to his. After a moment Ichabod pulled back, the corner of his mouth curving into a smirk.

"That's not the kind of kiss I had in mind," he said, his voice rumbling sexily.

She was about to ask what he meant when he moved down her body and his mouth found a home between her legs. Abbie grasped his hair as he sealed the accord... very thoroughly.


End file.
